How to ask a woman out (Posted on MySpace 03/08/06)

Mar 8, 2006

How to ask a woman out

Current mood:confused

I signed on to MySpace just a minute ago, and there was a message in my inbox from a guy I didn't recognize that simply said, "Let's go out". I'm like "what?"...trying to scroll down and look for the rest of the e-mail, but there's nothing there. I'm scratching my head, trying to figure out, "what is this?" So I go to the guy's page and he's a 17 yr old from Chicago, claiming a rap group called Good Fellaz. He smokes, drinks, makes $100,000 - $150,000 each year, and all he is about is "making money, making music, and making it happen". Let me also note that there was very little use of accurate punctuation and grammar on his page.

I really don't know how I feel about this guy, or many of the other guys that try to get at me on a daily basis. Am I supposed to be flattered by the fact that this guy is trying to take me out? Should I be impressed by the way he presents himself to the world on MySpace? Am I supposed to be turned on when I hear comments such as "Damn shawty, you sexy as hell" when I go in out of stores?

On one hand, I want to be flattered that men, only some of them like the ones mentioned above, are attracted to me. But I don't always know how to react when a man walking down the street with baggy clothes, rough facial hair, and a cigarette in his hand, approaches me in my business casual get-up, and asks me for my number or tries to give me his. Despite the fact that I smile and give them a "no thank you", am I wrong for being appalled and sometimes disgusted at their thoughtless attempts? Am I stuck up or a bitch because I don't want to give them the time of day? (I usually don't have the time). Do some men not understand that it takes more than a cheap compliment to get at women these days? Or is it just me who wants to know things like "what do you do for a living?" "where do you live?" "who do you live with?" "Do you have kids?" "ARE YOU MARRIED?" "have you EVER been married?" "do you have any formal education?" "do you have a criminal record?" Grant it, some of these questions are kind of deep and personal, but honestly, these are questions that I no doubt ask a man in our first few conversations. I not out to waste my time, or a man's time for that matter, getting to know some one, only to find out that he has an ex-wife and 3 kids around the corner if that's something I know I'm not interested in.

ANYWAY. Ladies, let me know how you feel about the way people who take a liking to you approach you. Fellas, let me know what you're thinking as you approach a woman who catches your eye. Everybody, agree, or disagree, with my thoughts and feelings mentioned above.

Comments

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  ~Joi Bells~
  

  I TRULY understand where you're coming from. With ALL of the CRAZY things happening in the world today, you want to know what you're getting into...so YES you nust ask questions, and DEEPpersonal questions, prior to jumping into something. And you also want to know how much potential this guy really has. Therefore you can decide on how far, if anywhere at all, you want the relationship to go. I mean do you REALLY want to take Flavor Flave home to meet your parents?!

  5 years ago
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  Lawrence Malone
  

  well this is honestly a very interesting topic to me seeing as though I've witnessed a whole lot of guys come at women like that.  But you have to understand that those guys aren't always idiots or just blind to the fact that they're triflin...they are just doing what works for them.  Its all about what that woman is looking for.  some women are into the thuggish look or not even just the look they like the whole mentality as crazy as this may seem to others its actually true.  a woman that is into these types of guys will not talk to a guy who doesn't possess some of these qualities.

  5 years ago
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  Mcigam [Level 104 Adept] Nah games are played bad horribly still. Its not there or minimal in HS when kids are still learning games or later on in life when everyones finally sick of the shit. So as far as I've seen 80-90% of people play games including guys. It's sick sick sick shit. I thought I finally ran into a girl that didn't play games in my ex fiancee but she played to some minimal degree too. It's pretty bad. Girls get hurt by guys or they want money and shit so they start running game on guys. Then the guys get hurt by the girl and shit and mope around while their emotions are being destroyed and they finally decide they want to run game and do it to some poor girl. Its a vicious cycle, if no one played games it'd be all good but people do. Plus it takes the boring shit out of a relationship. Some games do give you some excitement. blah blah blah. i'm blathering on. Oh by the way girl. You looking good...can I holla at you! LoL

  4 years ago
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  G. Smooth A.K.A. Mr. 7 … You know it's funny you mention this because this has been on my mind for a minute too.  Nowadays , woman want so much and so little.  They say they want this but really want something else.  I find it more and more difficult to approach woman because so many are so superficial and want to hear the magic words first.  "I got money, I got a nice ride, I got this, I got that."  Not all are like this but so many are.  It's like they forget that that type of things in the beginning is either temporary or it comes with a cost.  As far as the comment dude made, it's true and sad at the same times that it works on a lot of women.  Some think of it as cute and others as 'Oh I think he likes me'. (lol)  Anyway, it's sad regardless.  I like studying my women from a distance before I try and make an approach.  There is no rush right?  If it's meant to be, it'll happen.  My biggest problem though is that women are still playing hard to get.  Who does that shit anymore?  I thought that was played out in the early 90's.

  4 years ago
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  SyLinda Menafee Dude, I'm totatally feeling you right now. I was just talking to my 20 year old brother about his relationships with women. He is frustrated because he only attracts women who don't appreciate his identity. I told him that he attracts what he's putting out there. For example, if his approach is "Ayy, mami. Can I holla at you for a minute" and he's staring at her butt and breast throughout the conversation, the type of woman that responds will be a Rat! You are on the right track, G. If they aren't coming correct than they don't deserve to expereince a real woman. You attract what you are, in my opinion.

  4 years ago