I'm a prisoner of words unsaid. Just lonely feelings locked away in my head. I trap myself further everytime I stay quiet. I start to speak but I stop and stay silent. And now I've made my own hard bed.
Inside a prison of words unsaid
Some one asked me this question earlier today. Love is a very complex thing, and it very well may vary from person to person, I don't know, but there are some things that are constant no matter who or what you are loving. For example, love is the ability to tolerate someone regardless of what they do. Being able to put up with someone's imperfections - be it their stank feet, or the fact that they snore - is a sign of sincere love. If you don't love some one, you're not going to put up with stuff like that. But if you love them, it's not a big deal, and if it is, you will adress it with honesty and kindness, without being rough or harsh, because when you love some one, you don't want to hurt them on cause them pain, but you care just as much about their well-being as you do your own. So instead of saying "Damn! yo breath stank" you'll offer them a breath mint, and if the problem persists you take them to the dentist. lol!
Now, there is "loving" some one, and there is being "in love" with some one. You can love some one with out being IN love with them, just as you love you mother, best friend, or pet. But you cannot be IN love with some one without loving them. If you're truly IN love with some one, when things fall apart, you will still love them, because when you're IN love with some one you LOVE them uncoditionally, no matter what. Even if he cheats, even if she lies, you still love that person and you still want to be with them.
If you find that you're no longer IN love with some one, and you have no feelings whatsoever - you don't want to talk to them, don't want to see them, don't care if they live or die - then you were never truly IN love with that person. This is called infatuation. When you are infatuated, you have little to no control over your emotions. Your emotions control the relationship. Although this is easily mistaken for love, it isn't geniune love.
While being IN love involves a certain degree of infactuation, being IN love with some one means your feelings and emotions are REASONABLE. Your REASON rules your EMOTIONS instead of your emotions controling the relationship.
Real love brings out the best in you. It's exciting and it causes an eagerness to grow and improve. It gives you a greater sence of...I don't know...life. You start thinking about the future., possibly saving. Of course there is much more to being in love. There's admiration and a high level of respect. There's the best-friend factor. There's devotion and effection. And so much more.
But what do you guys think? Do you think I'm off the mark? Or do you agree? Have you ever felt this way or do you wish to feel this way one day? Hit me back and let me know "What is love?"
My ideal mate is something I think about all the time, but I've never put it in words, and I really don't think that I can sum it up here (I'll give it a try). I can't say that I've ever had a problem defining my ideal mate because for the most part, I've always had an idea. My problem is becoming the woman my ideal mate is looking for. There's no point in waiting on my ideal mate to find me if I'm not the woman he wants to be with. My question to all of you MySpacers is, "What is your ideal mate? And how does one become an ideal mate?"
My ideal man is one who knows what he wants in life and has a plan/road map to get there. He has proof of maturity, independence, and responsibility. He is educated, and has experience being committed and dedicated to his community, church, fraternity, or other school organization. If a man can't be committed to any of these things, how would a committment to me be any different?
My ideal man is one who loves me unconditionally, who has no limit as to what he will do to protect me, care for me, and fulfill my every need and desire. He also has a compatable personality, where we can laugh and talk for hours on end. I'll never get tired of being with him, and even the dullest things will seem exciting when he is around.
My ideal man is masculine, yet sensitive to the wants and needs of the woman who loves him. He is romantic to the point where every day I'm with him feels like Valentine's Day, and my wedding day isn't the only day I walk on rose peddals. He is also charming. Listening to him speak is hypnotizing and the sound of his voice is so entrancing that there is no limit to the things I would do please him.
My ideal man is one with broad shoulders, strong hands, and firm arms. He doesn't mind me resting my head amongst the sweat of his breast, and I get chills up my spine from his warm embrace. He has a sweet unique frangrance, so sweet it's tantalizing, and when he's not around the aroma lingers in my mind.
My ideal mate is my best friend. I can confide in him and he in me. No one can confort him the way I comfort him, and the love I give him makes him feel as though he's floating among the clouds.
My ideal mate challenges me to be a better person. He cares about my well-being, not for his benefit, but for the purpose of making me a better person. I can then be a better woman, a better wife, and a better mother.
This is for men ages...25 and up. MATURE men, ages 25 and up. Have you ever loved a women who you felt didn't appreciate you? I mean you loved her to the point that you were so SURE she was thee one. You gave her your heart, your mind, your body, your time, spent money, made sacrafices, but she never really seemed to appreciate it? If you've been there/done that, holla at me. Tell me what it felt like. Tell me how you dealt with the situation, what you learned and how you've changed.
When I was in college, all I did was instant message, all day, all night. It became so serious that it was my number one form of communication. I talked to my mom on instant message, classmates, friends, and even significant others. Now, not only do I not have time to sit at a computer all day and chat, I've totally lost the desire to do so. Instant messaging is SO not the best form of communication. I mean, it's ideal for just getting to know people that you meet on MySpace, but for true interpersonal relationships, instant messaging sucks. Why? Because mere words can not express and convey all messages, especially between those who have connected on a level deeper than aquaintanceship (is that a word?). Feelings, emotions, and compassion are all essential components in expressing oneself in a significant relationship, and none of those things can be identified definately by reading words on a screen. I, personally, believe I ruined a significant relationship because our number one form of communication was AIM and MSN Messenger. I also think I diminished my ability to effectively communicate verbally. For so long, I hid behind a computer screen and I became so accustomed to hiding behind that screen that when it came down to face-to-face direct communication, I could barely hold a conversation. I couldn't open up and express my feelings. I had no compassion. Fortunately, God placed a special friend in my life who cared enough to point this problem out and now I can honestly see a difference in the effectiveness of my verbal communication. While I still am not the greatest at expressing myself and showing verbal compassion, I am now on a road that leads to the Emerald City of communication. Holla back. Let me know what you guys think.