Thursday, March 30, 2006

Am I Missing Something? (Posted on MySpace 03/30/06)



Am I Missing Something?

Current mood:curious
All my life, I've never been the type of person to have a lot of friends. I always knew a lot of people, and a lot of people knew me, but that was simply because I stayed in some kind of spot light such as a school play or sports team. Making friends was something I never really had to do because I was just known. When I went away to college, I spent my Freshman year trying to make friends, but often times I realized that the friends I was trying to make, were not the type of friends I wanted to have. I don't know if that discouraged me or not, but for the most part, the rest of my time in undergrad I spent with no attempts to make any friends. I stayed to myself. I was anti-socail. I knew some people, some people knew me, and that was that.
Now I've come to the point where I think I desire friendship. I long for multiple phone calls on the weekend to hang out here and do that there, and not just from niggas tryna hit. I don't have "girls" to have girls night out with. I don't have a "crew" to have a get together with. What I have is a couple friends who have close relationships with others and who have best friends. I believe different friends serve different purposes. There are friends for going bowling with. There are friends for discussing favorite television shows with. There are friends for clubbing with. Some people even have friends stickly for having sex. But I don't really have many friends of my own. Why?
Maybe I'm too picky with the company I keep. I don't want to be around people who smoke all the time. I don't want to be around people who spend a vast amount of time doing things that amount to nothing. I don't want to be around people who haven't accomplished much in life and who don't have goals for the future. And I don't want to be around people who have little to no class.  Don't get me wrong. I'm not lonely and depressed or anything. I do have 2 or 3 friends and I appreciate then more than anything. But am I asking to much? If not, why don't I have friends? Am I missing something? Is it all that it's hyped up to be?

Comments

  • Lawrence Malone well in my opinion a good majority of friendships are created through circumstances...a lot of my friends I've met by just a situation that allowed the both of us to speak or work together etc...and true enough you dont need to except just anybody as your friend (I know I dont) but everyones different and you have to give and take I guess
      5 years ago
    • Mrs. Divens
      I can say this..."Real Friends" or "Real People" period are hard to come by...these are not the kind you bump into everyday.  As moms used to say, "Everybody that skins and grins in your face is not your friend"...and as I got older the meaning behind that became so much more clearer...even to this very day!
      I have a few friends but I have an abundance of associates.  Keep in mind that God places people in your life for a reason/ or for a season.  I have been a friend to many and have been betrayed one way or another, however, we were connected for a reason...for  that particular circumstance to be a lesson to both parties perhaps?   I have friends and associates alike, that smoke all the time...I used to too...but they ask me all the time, out of all people, how in the hell did you stop? Unknowingly,  I could be that inspiration for them to stop...I have friends and associates from all backgrounds...and If I can, I will help all of them if they need me.
      I am going to keep my focus no matter what my friends or associates are on...they can't fulfill my dreams or reach my goals so if one or some of them happen to be about "nothing", then that's on them...yes, I would try to talk to and encourage them to do better for themselves, but that's all I can do...because they don't want to do anything with their lives that's not a burden that lies on me.  You never know why or who will come into your life, but trust me, there is a reason behind it...and we can learn valuable lessons from the very people that we turn our noses up at!
      Just try being a little more open minded...it won't hurt!.....Most of all, stay Blessed!!
        5 years ago
      • Phil Franklin
        Share yourself with as many people as you can. You have something wonderful to offer in that personality and demonstration of intellect and genuine openess. Its our responsibility to be kind to people, and from that relationships come to be. In friendship, you just can't walk up to someone and say " will you be my friend". I mean u could, if you're 5. As adults we complicate things far too much. Friendship is great, i have a ton of friends, and am always looking to add to my team. Everyone has something to offer someone, and even in some cases if that person has nothing to offer you, there is another person on your team that might be in need. Life is about connecting.I play the middle man a bit, most of my friends are friends because of me. And because of my selflessness i can sit back and watch as their relationships grow. I got wildcats and tame dogs. I;m sure i can fit you in somewhere. If you're looking for a circle of friends who aren't on bs, and just wanna have a good time, im not hard to find. Friendships are just as sacred as the man you call yours, they have to be molded and cultured in order for them to be successful and promising. You gotta pu in some work. The end result will be a garunteed chapel full of people at your wedding, lots of housewarming gifts(wink), a bunch of choice activities, a ton of smiles, a lot of God Children (whew)a plan b,c,d,e,f,and g when you need help, and most of all, a guarunteed time when someone will NEED (emphasize need) you.
          5 years ago
          • G. Smooth A.K.A. Mr. 7 …
            This is not a problem but really a good thing.  With so many phony folks out here, it's hard to tell who is your real friend and someone who is just an acquaintance.  You have a choice now to pick and choose fresh instead of carrying old luggage.  Friends come and go.  Real friends don't.  You may have been in a relationship most of your life and probably focused on him.  You never really noticed you not having friends until you (1) spent some time being single (2) you getting older on want to do more and friends come in handy (3) you might have had an experience where you noticed for the first time the joy of just kicking it feels like with so many new faces.  Enjoy it both ways.  They'll come.  Maybe you should be less picky about who you meet because remember, God has a plan for everybody.  You might be that person to help a person stop an old habit or even save their life.  You can learn something from everyone if you let yourself do so.
              5 years ago

            Tuesday, March 21, 2006

            Reality Check (Posted on MySpace 03/21/06)


            • Reality Check

              Current mood:shocked
              Up until today, I think I've had an unintentional, unnoticeable, unacknowledged lack of respect for men with a no education, and with blue-collar jobs. It was never that I looked down upon those type of men, but when it came to dating, I would barely give them the time of day, and if I did, it was with no intent to give them the opportunity of knowing my heart. Maybe I felt I was too good for them, which is quite odd seeing as though I've only had my degree a little more than a year, and many of them probably make more money than I do. But reality has hit.
              Last week, in one of my schools (I do social work in a select number of Chicago Public High Schools), I had a number of men flirting and competing for my attention. A few of them were security guards with baby-mamas, one was a teacher, degreed, experienced, and traveled (adj), another was a janitor cleaning the lunchroom between each lunch period, and one was a lunchroom volunteer who was very inspiring, Biblically knowledgeable, well versed, probably retired, and old enough to be my daddy's uncle. When presented with such a variety of men with such a variety of experience and life achievement, I think that I instinctively endowed (I think that's the word I want to use) more respect to the degreed teacher and the retired volunteer. And I didn't realize that I had done this until I had a borderline sexually harrassing conversation with one, and heard a sermon on sex and my purpose in life from the other that made me question the appropriateness of the topic.
              What do you all think of this observation? Have my degree and salaried employment lead my mind to a place so high that I think I am too good for a certain population of people...my own people? I'm really...shocked, to say the least, that I've been this way. But let me know what you all think.